When I was preparing for my second day of bus riding, I seriously thought I had to be crazy; the trees were swaying madly in the wind, and I was certain I would be soaking wet and sporting Medusa-like hair by the time I arrived at school.  But it turns out my concerns were unfounded, thank goodness!  It was barely spitting rain during my four block walk, and the large umbrella I found in the back corner of the coat closet created the perfect barrier against the wind.  In fact, it was kind of nice to be out walking in the quiet of the early morning. So far so good!

The bus arrived right on time, just before 6:30, and my wild waving definitely caught the driver’s attention.  He was laughing when the door opened, exclaiming that never, NEVER had he picked someone up at that stop before!  (Of course not – – the middle class people in my neighborhood all enjoy the luxury of driving themselves wherever they choose to go.)  He showed me how to put my pass into the machine to mark the start date, then showed me where I would swipe it on the bus.  In fact, when we arrived at the transfer center, he asked which bus I was taking next, told me it was the one right next to us, and actually escorted me to it!  And that was despite the fact that the rain was now coming down in sheets.

The first driver had already made my day when the second driver asked me where I was headed, then chatted with me the whole ride when we discovered that despite the fact that I hadn’t taught either of his children who attend Auburn, I do have his son’s girlfriend in class.  We also traded stories about our kids not believing we know anything about being a teenager and how it drives us crazy when they don’t take our advice.  I laughed a lot – and considered the experience to be a serendipitous gift, especially on a less than ideal morning weather-wise.

It seemed the whole experience could not have been better — until we were coming down Pierpont and the driver said, “I’m early, so I’ll drive you in,” then proceeded to turn into the student parking lot and drop me off right at the Fieldhouse entrance. I was seriously giddy.  (Yeah – I’m weird like that.  I even called my daughter back at home to share my exciting story — and to make sure her brother was on track to leave for the bus in another ten minutes.)

It could not have been a nicer way to start the day. 🙂

So I’d really like to just leave it at that.  Then I wouldn’t have to admit that I copped out after school.  Ugh.

There I was, standing at the bus stop a whole ten minutes early, freezing.  The wind was worse, and the temperature had dropped at least ten degrees since morning, and I started to worry that Jake would be way too cold walking home from the bus stop.  Or maybe I just worried that I would be, and I projected it onto Jake.  Or maybe it was the combination of the cold and the fact that it would be two hours before I got home since we’d have to wait a half hour for a bus once I finally got to Washington to pick him up and I had a ton of grading to do…  In any case, when I texted my daughter and discovered that she was still at Auburn and her dad was to arrive to pick her up any minute, I practically ran back across the parking lot to bum a ride with them.  So after a warm, twenty minute car ride, I was home.

I’m trying not to feel guilty.  After all, I did tell my students that I would only catch a ride when taking the bus would compromise my ability to appropriately mother my children or be an effective teacher, and this situation seemed to qualify.  But the people whose lives I’m trying to emulate would not have likely had that option to run back and catch a ride with someone else.

I think the guilt also comes from the fact that after I got back to the school and talked to Ellie, I discovered that Jake had in fact worn his winter coat and even taken a hat with him to school, so then I felt like it was just me chickening out.  :/

Maybe I can assuage my guilt by focusing on the chagrin I always feel when I have to break down and ask my ex for help.  Yeah – I think that’s what I’ll do.  And of course take the bus TWICE today to make up for it!